No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
