Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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