Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
