I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
