I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
