im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
