you would pick up someone in the library
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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