Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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