Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
