she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
