She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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