This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
