Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
