My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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