Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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