so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
