Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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