but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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