Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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