stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
What a dumb baby whore.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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