You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
