oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
