I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize