no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
