God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize