Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I am naked and annoyed.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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