My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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