genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
