nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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