Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
