i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize