Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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