Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize