If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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