he wants to bone in the snuggie
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
