Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I need to sanitize my soul.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
