Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think your dad took our porno
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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