There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
