Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
well you can't waste a boner
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
