I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
