definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
