her vagine was all disorganized.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
