hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
