my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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