Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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