She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
