You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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