Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
