I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Are we still banned from the library?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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