i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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