the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
