Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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