Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
