I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
