I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
