What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's never too late to be topless.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
