He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
