I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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