remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
