ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
