She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
