you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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