You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
