maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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