She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
